♥Friday, 7 December 2012♥
A NEW BEGINNING
Hey Mr or Mrs Whoever Is Visiting My Blog, this new blog that I created is not the first, but it's going to be a new beggining for me because it's been a year since I blogged and I have to blog because I figure it is going to be a way for me to vex my frustrations and emotions. Besides, it's the holidays and my friends are all busy with CCA and trips. I am so bored and lonely at home I decided to blog to pass time instead. This blog is not meant for anyone to read(so I'm not surprised if my chatbox is empty) but for me to spend time and vex out my emotions.
The main reason why I came back to post despite knowing blogging is already not that popular(Twitter-ever heard of? Why do I even ask) is because I'm facing many troubles in life(who doesn't?) and I need some place where I can be truly me and voice out how I feel. My closest friends in my class Minghao and Simun(I know I don't have many, I like to keep it simple) find my temper real hot and it bugged me when they told me to change and "tone down". What do you mean by tone down anyway? Most importantly, I thought they love me for who I am(especially for Minghao. I'll give you a clue-he's a guy, and very close to me. Figure the rest yourself.) To me, the only way for me to "tone down" my temper is by not speaking and not expressing myself at all. I doubt I can act the way I want to with them, so I blog instead.
Minghao is a real friend and maybe perhaps, only PERHAPS a little more than that. His CCA is NCC and he recently has been very busy with FSD(some foot drill performance thing) which only end on March. We quarrelled alot these days because hello-oh, it's the holidays and he has no time for me? He even hid things from me and stood me up when we arranged to go study together. I can feel we will drift apart more, since Mon Tue Wed he has NCC, then Fri Sat he has badminton. He loves to play badminton. Recently he bursted out in rage and scolded me(which hurt me alot, ahem.) We have a dubious relationship- friends or soulmate? No one can be sure. Reason being I do not want to touch that L-word(yes, love) because I'm pretty sure at the end of the day I will be hurt. Initially I thought Minghao is an exception to all guys- sweet to only me, do not flirt and is really sweet(oh, I mentioned that.) He is the one going out with me whenever I feel lonely or mad when my family argued with me(my family hates me). But now, the only person who is so free as to go out walking and giving me some comfort is not free at all to even hold a proper convo on Whatsapp with me.
I am worried, sad and afraid now. I don't know what I can do now that all my friends are so busy, and the only person who can really cheer me up whenever we hang out is hurting me and leaving me alone than ever, is gone. Wrote a poem about how I felt, and am going to post here some day. I wish I have him all to myself, and not to FSD(he promised not to join that thing! They do not even give people a choice in participation!)
That's all folks. Going to have dinner.
Hey Mr or Mrs Whoever Is Visiting My Blog, this new blog that I created is not the first, but it's going to be a new beggining for me because it's been a year since I blogged and I have to blog because I figure it is going to be a way for me to vex my frustrations and emotions. Besides, it's the holidays and my friends are all busy with CCA and trips. I am so bored and lonely at home I decided to blog to pass time instead. This blog is not meant for anyone to read(so I'm not surprised if my chatbox is empty) but for me to spend time and vex out my emotions.
The main reason why I came back to post despite knowing blogging is already not that popular(Twitter-ever heard of? Why do I even ask) is because I'm facing many troubles in life(who doesn't?) and I need some place where I can be truly me and voice out how I feel. My closest friends in my class Minghao and Simun(I know I don't have many, I like to keep it simple) find my temper real hot and it bugged me when they told me to change and "tone down". What do you mean by tone down anyway? Most importantly, I thought they love me for who I am(especially for Minghao. I'll give you a clue-he's a guy, and very close to me. Figure the rest yourself.) To me, the only way for me to "tone down" my temper is by not speaking and not expressing myself at all. I doubt I can act the way I want to with them, so I blog instead.
Minghao is a real friend and maybe perhaps, only PERHAPS a little more than that. His CCA is NCC and he recently has been very busy with FSD(some foot drill performance thing) which only end on March. We quarrelled alot these days because hello-oh, it's the holidays and he has no time for me? He even hid things from me and stood me up when we arranged to go study together. I can feel we will drift apart more, since Mon Tue Wed he has NCC, then Fri Sat he has badminton. He loves to play badminton. Recently he bursted out in rage and scolded me(which hurt me alot, ahem.) We have a dubious relationship- friends or soulmate? No one can be sure. Reason being I do not want to touch that L-word(yes, love) because I'm pretty sure at the end of the day I will be hurt. Initially I thought Minghao is an exception to all guys- sweet to only me, do not flirt and is really sweet(oh, I mentioned that.) He is the one going out with me whenever I feel lonely or mad when my family argued with me(my family hates me). But now, the only person who is so free as to go out walking and giving me some comfort is not free at all to even hold a proper convo on Whatsapp with me.
I am worried, sad and afraid now. I don't know what I can do now that all my friends are so busy, and the only person who can really cheer me up whenever we hang out is hurting me and leaving me alone than ever, is gone. Wrote a poem about how I felt, and am going to post here some day. I wish I have him all to myself, and not to FSD(he promised not to join that thing! They do not even give people a choice in participation!)
That's all folks. Going to have dinner.
♥If tiime can stop at
@ 03:12
@ 03:12
Chocolate Treats